July 24, 2021

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Stephen Colbert Celebrates the Passing of the Stimulus Bill – The New York Times

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“With this passage, the government is about to send $1,400 stimulus checks to millions of Americans. There you go, baby. You’re rich! Buy yourself something nice, like rent or medicine.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Huge news. With $1,400 a year into the pandemic, you can finally pay May 2020’s rent.” — JAMES CORDEN

“The $1.9 trillion price tag brings the total spent on Covid relief to $5.5 trillion. By comparison, adjusted for inflation, World War II cost the U.S. government roughly $4 trillion. Hopefully, we’ll get some great coronavirus movies like ‘Inoculating Private Ryan,’ or one about your uncle who still wears his mask below his nose, ‘Dumb Kirk.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“The administration says a large number of Americans could receive their $1,400 stimulus payments before the end of March. Do you know what that means? There’s finally going to be an end of March!” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“The money will be going out soon, and really, what’s more reassuring than the phrase, ‘Don’t worry, the check’s in the mail’?” — JAMES CORDEN

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